It’s all about ME!!! Haha, i knew that would get your attention…it’s not what you think so read on…
Over the course of the last several years I have become immersed in my careers. As a teacher I spend my days with adorable children who light up my life in a way that can only be described as magical. On the weekends and in the summers, I spend time with a camera in my hands ~ capturing memories for families, seniors, children and anyone who has been placed in my life. I spend nights and weekends playing “catch up” culling, editing, lesson planning, wardrobe planning, communicating, and in many other ways that might bore you to tears if I went on. And still, there never seems to be enough time to do it all ~ can’t we all relate to that?
While I love all of those things and am so grateful that they are in my life, I felt a piece missing. It has been gone for years but was not gone right away. Little by little a piece of me was being taken away one small spot at a time. It was not something that happened overnight and it was not something I really noticed right away. After cumulative years though there is no denying it. A piece is missing…and that piece is ME.
I tell you all of this not to post my inner self on Facebook or blog, not to overshare, not to earn praise, not to earn sympathy, not to do anything but to just be authentic. For once, I am deciding that I am valuable, worthy and important enough to take the steps to make myself a priority. I am also telling myself that my real friends will respond with love to what I have to say and will not look into it any further with judgment. I judge myself enough I have come to realize…and I am learning to stop.
It started this summer when I started working on my inside…like really working and really committing to make change. I have dealt with feelings of inadequacy, perfectionism, anxiety, depression, grief and feeling lost just to name a few. Those feelings and attributes are very much a part of who I am and will always be things I have to work on to keep in check. I have spent so much of my time focused outward, that I completely forgot to look inward ~ and when I did look inward, I hated what I saw so much that I ran the other way and “busied” myself so that I didn’t have to deal with the things I knew needed addressed. That is no longer the case, and I am proud to say that.
The next step in my process is my physical self. Through months of careful thought, consideration and discussion with my husband, I have decided to become a Beachbody coach. You might be thinking “Mel has gone bat crazy…a THIRD job!!! What is she possibly thinking?” And while it is a job, I am focusing more on the helping myself through this than the fact that it is a job. This is not to sell anyone anything, not to get you on board with some scheme, quite honestly this is for me. To better myself, to keep myself accountable, to connect with an incredible community and to help others along the way…because without touching the lives of others my life really isn’t what it is meant to be. My focus will be helping others and the big focus at the moment is getting ME back. I miss the athlete, I miss the competitor, I miss the drive, I miss myself when I am in the shape physically, spiritually and mentally that I know I am meant for.
So when I say it is all about ME that is what I really mean. And for so many reasons it isn’t about just me. It is about being a better wife, daughter, sister, aunt, Godmother, friend, teacher, photographer, mentor and more. I am already seeing and feeling changes after beginning this journey and it has lit a fire in me ~ and if you know me you know when the spark starts it is often hard to squelch…and I am counting on that!
I ask you today if you would please keep me accountable. Your encouragement, prayers, words of support and even a friendly smile really will keep me going when I feel like giving up. I am so sick of watching everyone else’s life and documenting their journeys while forgetting about my own. It is time for me…it is time for me…it is time for me. I know you will be there for me. If you yourself want to join me on your own journey you know the door is open wide. I am all about having family and friends along for the road ahead. I am feeling very grateful for the opportunity to make my life more than what it has been, and I thank you now for your support and love!
Here is me and my “sweaty selfie” from one of my workouts this week. You’ll be seeing more of this if you follow me here, Facebook or Instagram.
~ xo Mel ~